gregmelia

Volvo Netherlands is issuing schoolchildren with cycle helmets.

Dear Volvo, you are issuing children with equipment to protect against what, precisely? It isn’t the effects of crashing into cars, is it? Aha, you produce those cars, don’t you! Tell me, once you’ve got all the children wearing big orange headwear, will you move onto the adults, will everybody in the Netherlands wear an Anti-Volvo Protection Device? Will the whole world be dressed up to protect against the dangerous effects of the products you sell?

Tell you what, I’ll save you some expense. As you acknowledge in your press release, “prevention is always better than cure”. So how about – here’s an idea – you stop selling cars in the Netherlands? You could even operate a return scheme where you take back Dutch people’s cars in return for … well they won’t need a helmet anymore, how about a nice box of chocolates? Maybe a Brox, I’d quite like one of those.

I had a little collision with one of your cars a while back and it really wrecked my bike, do you think I could have a new one? I’m afraid the car got a bit dented as well, would you still take it back thankyouplease?

P.S. Your press release uses the statistic where helmets reduce 85% of head injuries. This was discredited years ago. Lose it.